Yesterday I was cleaning the bathroom. The cats were 'helping'. As a result of their assistance, my sponge fell to the floor. I bent over to pick it up, stood up forgetting the cupboard door was open and CRACKED my head. My brain rattled. I put an ice bag on my noggin and wondered how many fingers I was holding up.
Today I have a lump, a headache and a sore skull.
Is it cleaning or cats that are hazardous I wonder?
Monday 18 August 2008
The Brave One
I watched The Brave One over the weekend. I'm not a huge Jodie Foster fan (sacrilege for a lesbian I know), but I enjoyed this. Which surprised me as I had read mixed reviews.
So why did I like it?
I like action movies
I like the idea of a strong, revenge seeking, woman
Jodie Foster is very cute in a tight t-shirt and jeans
I also liked it because it explored, very well I thought, the anger that can lead us to do things we might not otherwise do. The compulsion to act out of character, and how we can hate ourselves for doing it. But we don't stop doing it. Until we have to for the sake of our sanity.
Jodie Foster is a talented actor, of that there is no doubt, she brings intellectual depth to many of her roles and she portrayed the 'hero' in this movie just right. Perhaps I need to revise my opinion of Ms Foster.............
The Brave One. Not Oscarworthy, but definitely worthy of a look..........
So why did I like it?
I like action movies
I like the idea of a strong, revenge seeking, woman
Jodie Foster is very cute in a tight t-shirt and jeans
I also liked it because it explored, very well I thought, the anger that can lead us to do things we might not otherwise do. The compulsion to act out of character, and how we can hate ourselves for doing it. But we don't stop doing it. Until we have to for the sake of our sanity.
Jodie Foster is a talented actor, of that there is no doubt, she brings intellectual depth to many of her roles and she portrayed the 'hero' in this movie just right. Perhaps I need to revise my opinion of Ms Foster.............
The Brave One. Not Oscarworthy, but definitely worthy of a look..........
Saturday 16 August 2008
Paris Hilton For President?
John McCain used Paris Hilton's image in a campaign ad suggesting Barack Obama was nothing more than a celebrity.
I am one of those who slams the vacuous lives of people like Paris Hilton, but this is funny and even *gasp* clever
Wednesday 13 August 2008
I'm too ugly for your telly
The Olympics are on. You might have noticed. I watched the opening ceremony-despite telling myself I wouldn't. They were a spectacular example of chinese history, pageantry and precision dance. A seven year girl sang a national song and won the hearts of the worldwide audience....aaaah.
Except she didn't. The girl we all saw was miming, the actual singer (with the perfect voice) was Yang Peiyi and she was banished backstage somewhere. She was apparently too ugly/imperfect/flawed to be seen on telly. How can that be? The regime of China is so desperate that it stoops to telling a little girl she is too ugly to be seen? Shame.
Little girl - you are beautiful. And don't let those old waxwork rejects tell you otherwise.
.
Except she didn't. The girl we all saw was miming, the actual singer (with the perfect voice) was Yang Peiyi and she was banished backstage somewhere. She was apparently too ugly/imperfect/flawed to be seen on telly. How can that be? The regime of China is so desperate that it stoops to telling a little girl she is too ugly to be seen? Shame.
Little girl - you are beautiful. And don't let those old waxwork rejects tell you otherwise.
.
Wednesday 6 August 2008
junk junk everywhere....
I am a hoarder. I keep things because they remind me of people, or places ,or events. I also keep things because they might come in useful one day, or not (in that respect I am definitely my mothers daughter....).
But even I am beginning to become gobsmacked at the amount of junk I have managed to squeeze into my flat. I arrived in London with a backpack. I leave needing a moving truck. How is this possible? It is ridiculous. From now on I am going to be minimalist. I am also going to be a size 10.
In other news, my mother has returned from her holiday to the Gold Coast of Australia. She had a wonderful time seeing family, old friends and old haunts. She is feeling dissatisfied with Wellington and wishes she had moved back to Oz twenty years ago....it is warm in Queensland, it is cold in New Zealand.
She starts her short course of chemo next Tuesday, if she manages to finish the treatment , it may extend her life by six months or so........
And I am overwhelmed
But even I am beginning to become gobsmacked at the amount of junk I have managed to squeeze into my flat. I arrived in London with a backpack. I leave needing a moving truck. How is this possible? It is ridiculous. From now on I am going to be minimalist. I am also going to be a size 10.
In other news, my mother has returned from her holiday to the Gold Coast of Australia. She had a wonderful time seeing family, old friends and old haunts. She is feeling dissatisfied with Wellington and wishes she had moved back to Oz twenty years ago....it is warm in Queensland, it is cold in New Zealand.
She starts her short course of chemo next Tuesday, if she manages to finish the treatment , it may extend her life by six months or so........
And I am overwhelmed
Sunday 3 August 2008
leaving on a jet plane
I am all over the place.
I am leaving London, probably for good, and my heart is breaking. It is breaking for London, my friends,my job, my life. And my heart is breaking because my mother is dying.......
I leave on September 20.
It's going to be brutal
I am leaving London, probably for good, and my heart is breaking. It is breaking for London, my friends,my job, my life. And my heart is breaking because my mother is dying.......
I leave on September 20.
It's going to be brutal
Wednesday 30 July 2008
I have been to Cornwall
and North Devon. I forget, as I struggle with existing in this hurly burly of a metropolis, that England is beautiful. We drove down country lanes, through little villages, hired stripy deckchairs on lovely beaches and admired the often dramatic coastline.
England my England.
Pity I am not english - either through birth or descent. For if I was, I might be tempted to launch into an inspirational song.
When the sun is shining, rural England glows.
Go there. Soon.
Saturday 5 July 2008
Walk on By
'If you see me walking down the street
And I start to cry
Walk on By'
And if you see a wrong, walk on by.
That's the advice from our Mayor, Boris Johnston, to Londoners as we grapple with, what appears to be, a rise in violence in our city.
Every week (sometimes everyday) we are faced with grim realities. People being stabbed, often fatally, in the streets. The carrying of weapons is a routine. Genuine fear is being expressed. What is causing this, largely youth driven, crime wave?
Is it the lack of role models for young people (especially young men)?, is it a reflection of violent popular culture? Is the breakdown of the family? A lack of opportunity? Poor education? A symptom of inner city living? Drugs? A self perpetuating media driven hysteria? A paucity of aspiration? A failure of the criminal justice system?
Yes, it's all of these things. Mostly though it's about adults not taking responsibility. Parents, neighbours, community leaders, teachers.
Me.
But I don't have to take responsibility, the Mayor has told me to walk on by. And I am shamed, because that is what I do.
.
And I start to cry
Walk on By'
And if you see a wrong, walk on by.
That's the advice from our Mayor, Boris Johnston, to Londoners as we grapple with, what appears to be, a rise in violence in our city.
Every week (sometimes everyday) we are faced with grim realities. People being stabbed, often fatally, in the streets. The carrying of weapons is a routine. Genuine fear is being expressed. What is causing this, largely youth driven, crime wave?
Is it the lack of role models for young people (especially young men)?, is it a reflection of violent popular culture? Is the breakdown of the family? A lack of opportunity? Poor education? A symptom of inner city living? Drugs? A self perpetuating media driven hysteria? A paucity of aspiration? A failure of the criminal justice system?
Yes, it's all of these things. Mostly though it's about adults not taking responsibility. Parents, neighbours, community leaders, teachers.
Me.
But I don't have to take responsibility, the Mayor has told me to walk on by. And I am shamed, because that is what I do.
.
Sunday 29 June 2008
Minicab Madness
On Friday evening I ventured to Stoke Newington and joined friends at Lower The Tone (The Oak Bar, Green Lanes). Having trekked to the other side of London and endured a public transport nightmare in the process (and got a bit lost), I decided to throw caution to the wind and get a minicab the last couple of miles.
I got into the Mercedes and the man asked me where I was going - 'Green Lanes' I say, 'The Oak Bar'.
'oh yes, I know it' he replies 'I have many lesbian women in my cab'
He continued on..... 'You like women, men or both?'
'that's none of your business' was my indignant reply.
After assuring me that he 'didn't care, so long as everyone is happy, my daughter she is lesbian , I want her to be happy' he went on to enquire if I wanted a jacuzzi. I was perturbed by this turn of events and so revealed that I didn't like jacuzzis as I have low blood pressure.
'No jacuzzi? What about group sex? You like group sex? I can take you for group sex, I have a list of all the best places. I have many lesbian women, they all know me to ask for the group sex'
'No' I said 'I don't want group sex' (all the while thinking, what I want is for this cab ride to end)
'You just like to talk? That's OK, I give you my number, if ever you get lonely you call me - I can get you the woman, the man, whatever you want'
Only in London..........
.
I got into the Mercedes and the man asked me where I was going - 'Green Lanes' I say, 'The Oak Bar'.
'oh yes, I know it' he replies 'I have many lesbian women in my cab'
He continued on..... 'You like women, men or both?'
'that's none of your business' was my indignant reply.
After assuring me that he 'didn't care, so long as everyone is happy, my daughter she is lesbian , I want her to be happy' he went on to enquire if I wanted a jacuzzi. I was perturbed by this turn of events and so revealed that I didn't like jacuzzis as I have low blood pressure.
'No jacuzzi? What about group sex? You like group sex? I can take you for group sex, I have a list of all the best places. I have many lesbian women, they all know me to ask for the group sex'
'No' I said 'I don't want group sex' (all the while thinking, what I want is for this cab ride to end)
'You just like to talk? That's OK, I give you my number, if ever you get lonely you call me - I can get you the woman, the man, whatever you want'
Only in London..........
.
Tuesday 24 June 2008
What The Fuck???
The Germans are known for their culinary skills.
Especially in respect of reconstituted meat products, but really......a cheeseburger in a can? Complete with salad and the bun?
I am almost tempted to get one, just so I can see what it really looks like when you pull back the lid......
4euro's apparently......
Sunday 22 June 2008
Friday 13 June 2008
you shall go to the ball....
Quite possibly the campest thing seen in Brixton. Ever.
What would you do if your beloved showed up at the registry office in this?
Run like the clappers would be my advice......
Tuesday 10 June 2008
Fame - it's gonna cost...
Yesterday was a beautiful day in old London. In celebration I cracked open a beer, sat on my balcony and watched the world go by. My peace was shattered around 4pm when a gaggle of schoolgirls starting screaming with delight. 'Oh My God' they yelled 'I can't believe it's you'.
Who was the object of this adoration? Who was surrounded by about 20 girls and was posing for photo's by the bra stall...............a movie star? a well known athlete? a music artiste?
I had to peer really hard. I sort of recognised her. It was Carol from last years Big Brother
Which got me thinking - what makes people worthy of fame these days? Is it talent? Is doing something extraordinary? Is it appearing on TV for five minutes? What would Andy Warhol make of it all?
Who was the object of this adoration? Who was surrounded by about 20 girls and was posing for photo's by the bra stall...............a movie star? a well known athlete? a music artiste?
I had to peer really hard. I sort of recognised her. It was Carol from last years Big Brother
Which got me thinking - what makes people worthy of fame these days? Is it talent? Is doing something extraordinary? Is it appearing on TV for five minutes? What would Andy Warhol make of it all?
Saturday 7 June 2008
I'll never look at a photo of Diana the same again
Bridget McManus-lesbain comedian
http://www.5min.com/Video/True-Confessions-Masturbation-21798325
Oh dear.................................
http://www.5min.com/Video/True-Confessions-Masturbation-21798325
Oh dear.................................
Thursday 5 June 2008
So - it's Sen Barack Obama
I am a political junkie, I make no apologies for it.
I firmly believe in the democractic ideal - or I will until something better comes along (which hasn't happened so far). I believe that the right to vote is a responsibility that should be taken seriously and which should be used with thought and consideration. Though I am still struggling to come to terms with Boris......
Although not a citizen of the USA - or even someone who visits that country, I have been fascinated by the US presidential candidate selection race. I am not sure if I prefer a presidential system of government or the more familiar (to me) westminster system, but that is by the by. The United States of America is the worlds super power (the only one for now -- until China really starts flexing), so what happens there economically, socially and politically has an effect on me.
The US has two parties - the Republicans and the Democrats (independents and smaller parties making inroads into the upper echelons of power is almost impossible). Each party will put forward a candidate for the presidency of the US and voting will take place in November. The republicans have chosen their candidate - John McCain a white man in his 70's who is a Vietnam war hero, leans toward the socially liberal, is a libertarian economically and is a defence hawk.
It has been the Democratic nomination race which has fascinated us, it has been political viagra and has been, quite possibly, a defining moment in modern politics. Two candidates vieing for the votes in primaries across the nation. One candidate - a white woman in her 60's, a child of the 60's, a former 'first lady', a two time senator and someone who has clearly been positioning herself for a White House run for at least eight years. Hillary Clinton. In the other corner - a black man in his 40's, also a child of the 60's (but in the real sense), a one term senator, an outsider, someone seems t inspire and who is promising change. Barack Obama.
Barack Obama has won the first race. While Clinton has yet to concede her race is over, it is clear that the woman who felt a great sense of entitlement has had that entitlement removed. It now appears she is positioning herself for the vp spot. Whistling in the wind springs to mind.
I am absolutely certain that Clinton was subjected to sexism from the media and from the Obama camp. That is a disgrace in the 21st century. What is equally unacceptable is for heartfelt Clinton supporters (and there are many - Clinton actually won more votes) to declare that they intend to vote for McCain or abstain from voting. This is petty and childish.
It will be fascinating will be to watch and see what impact race has on the presidential race and it will be fascinating to observe the internet viral campaign against Obama-this has already started.
Will it turn out that while Obama has won the Democratic heart, the rest of the US is not ready? Would Clinton have won against McCain, but Obama won't? Or will this really be a turning point, an indication of how far one country has come in my lifetime - a black president, one born during a time of segregation........
All in all, we political junkies are in for an interesting ride. It's gonna be good
I firmly believe in the democractic ideal - or I will until something better comes along (which hasn't happened so far). I believe that the right to vote is a responsibility that should be taken seriously and which should be used with thought and consideration. Though I am still struggling to come to terms with Boris......
Although not a citizen of the USA - or even someone who visits that country, I have been fascinated by the US presidential candidate selection race. I am not sure if I prefer a presidential system of government or the more familiar (to me) westminster system, but that is by the by. The United States of America is the worlds super power (the only one for now -- until China really starts flexing), so what happens there economically, socially and politically has an effect on me.
The US has two parties - the Republicans and the Democrats (independents and smaller parties making inroads into the upper echelons of power is almost impossible). Each party will put forward a candidate for the presidency of the US and voting will take place in November. The republicans have chosen their candidate - John McCain a white man in his 70's who is a Vietnam war hero, leans toward the socially liberal, is a libertarian economically and is a defence hawk.
It has been the Democratic nomination race which has fascinated us, it has been political viagra and has been, quite possibly, a defining moment in modern politics. Two candidates vieing for the votes in primaries across the nation. One candidate - a white woman in her 60's, a child of the 60's, a former 'first lady', a two time senator and someone who has clearly been positioning herself for a White House run for at least eight years. Hillary Clinton. In the other corner - a black man in his 40's, also a child of the 60's (but in the real sense), a one term senator, an outsider, someone seems t inspire and who is promising change. Barack Obama.
Barack Obama has won the first race. While Clinton has yet to concede her race is over, it is clear that the woman who felt a great sense of entitlement has had that entitlement removed. It now appears she is positioning herself for the vp spot. Whistling in the wind springs to mind.
I am absolutely certain that Clinton was subjected to sexism from the media and from the Obama camp. That is a disgrace in the 21st century. What is equally unacceptable is for heartfelt Clinton supporters (and there are many - Clinton actually won more votes) to declare that they intend to vote for McCain or abstain from voting. This is petty and childish.
It will be fascinating will be to watch and see what impact race has on the presidential race and it will be fascinating to observe the internet viral campaign against Obama-this has already started.
Will it turn out that while Obama has won the Democratic heart, the rest of the US is not ready? Would Clinton have won against McCain, but Obama won't? Or will this really be a turning point, an indication of how far one country has come in my lifetime - a black president, one born during a time of segregation........
All in all, we political junkies are in for an interesting ride. It's gonna be good
Wednesday 4 June 2008
can you have a crush on a website
Is it possible to be in love with a website? If it's possible is it 'normal', or have I developed a fetish?
I am in love with AfterEllen....check it out www.afterellen.com . It has nothing to do with Ellen DeGeneres= except that it's about lesbian visibility in the media. I've lurking about in the AE bushes for about five years, but only recently become hooked, now I have withdrawal pangs if I don't log in everyday. Worried much?
Of considerable interest to me of late has been how AE has grown in the past 12 months. I used to log on because of the really sharp writing, analysis and wit. That's still there in patches, but standards have dropped as more and more regular content is added. There has been an explosion of Vlogs (or video blogs), many of which are highly entertaining and feature some very attractive women of the lesbian persuasion. Nice.
While obviously US based, there is an attempt to include content of interest to those of us living elsewhere and I am hugely impressed by the diversity of lesbians featured (though I notice no one disabled or fat - but never mind, one day)
What I've also noticed is the changing demographic - lots and lots of young lesbians/bi's and not sure's, for them AE is an affirming experience - it seems that, even in 2008, being a baby dyke is still an isolating and confusing place. What AE tells them is that life can(and will) get better.
What I have found most amusing however is the dyke drama. Even on the interweb lesbians can't help but take every opportunity to criticise, complain and over process. It is hilarious. Or it would be if it wasn't so tragic........and familiar
I am in love with AfterEllen....check it out www.afterellen.com . It has nothing to do with Ellen DeGeneres= except that it's about lesbian visibility in the media. I've lurking about in the AE bushes for about five years, but only recently become hooked, now I have withdrawal pangs if I don't log in everyday. Worried much?
Of considerable interest to me of late has been how AE has grown in the past 12 months. I used to log on because of the really sharp writing, analysis and wit. That's still there in patches, but standards have dropped as more and more regular content is added. There has been an explosion of Vlogs (or video blogs), many of which are highly entertaining and feature some very attractive women of the lesbian persuasion. Nice.
While obviously US based, there is an attempt to include content of interest to those of us living elsewhere and I am hugely impressed by the diversity of lesbians featured (though I notice no one disabled or fat - but never mind, one day)
What I've also noticed is the changing demographic - lots and lots of young lesbians/bi's and not sure's, for them AE is an affirming experience - it seems that, even in 2008, being a baby dyke is still an isolating and confusing place. What AE tells them is that life can(and will) get better.
What I have found most amusing however is the dyke drama. Even on the interweb lesbians can't help but take every opportunity to criticise, complain and over process. It is hilarious. Or it would be if it wasn't so tragic........and familiar
Saturday 31 May 2008
trash for dinner
There is a woman I see most mornings. She is in her 60's and has a blue pull along shopping trolley. Every morning she roots and rustles her way through the bins and piles of rubbish left on the street. After filling her trolley with food rejected by others she toddles off......where does she go?
And why does she need to collect food from the street?
Have we arrived at the brave new world yet?
And why does she need to collect food from the street?
Have we arrived at the brave new world yet?
Wednesday 28 May 2008
a question for the universe
Is it possible to eat too many jellybeans?
And, if you do, what might happen?
And, if you do, what might happen?
Tuesday 27 May 2008
Fat Freddy's Drop - Wandering Eye
This is fat freddys drop. A dose of kiwiana. Not only a wellington mob but a LYALL BAY crew......this video cracks me up - NZ silliness at it's best
Oh, to be fabulous and gay
I've been thinking lately about the term 'gay lifestyle'. What does it mean? My lifestyle consists of going to work and coming home again - nothing especially gay about that.
I do have fabulous friends - I suppose that might qualify and I do have good taste in music and I suit hats....and despite my advancing years I dance like a maniac and I like champagne. Is this my 'gay' lifestyle?
Often the term 'gay lifestyle' is used in a disapproving tone. 'I don't want my children exposed to the gay lifestyle' and so on. This is why I object to it so much.
I also hate 'gay wedding' (often used by those getting hitched) It's a wedding. When we label our nuptials 'gay' we somehow make them less than they are. Or am I being homophobic?
Either way I'm off to my gay bed, to have a gay dream (I hope) and tomorrow? Well tomorrow I shall be as fabulously gay as I was today - eating my gay lunch, sitting on the gay tube, having a gay meeting or two........
I do have fabulous friends - I suppose that might qualify and I do have good taste in music and I suit hats....and despite my advancing years I dance like a maniac and I like champagne. Is this my 'gay' lifestyle?
Often the term 'gay lifestyle' is used in a disapproving tone. 'I don't want my children exposed to the gay lifestyle' and so on. This is why I object to it so much.
I also hate 'gay wedding' (often used by those getting hitched) It's a wedding. When we label our nuptials 'gay' we somehow make them less than they are. Or am I being homophobic?
Either way I'm off to my gay bed, to have a gay dream (I hope) and tomorrow? Well tomorrow I shall be as fabulously gay as I was today - eating my gay lunch, sitting on the gay tube, having a gay meeting or two........
Thursday 22 May 2008
i am absolutely cream crackered
I am so tired that I can barely think.
I have tomorrow off - my plans for the day include (but are not limited to):
A sleep in
A haircut
A trip to M&S for some new undies
In other news Brixton is about to get it's very own PoundLand. This will be a welcome addition to the spending opportunities available on Brixton Rd. I like PoundLand.
I have tomorrow off - my plans for the day include (but are not limited to):
A sleep in
A haircut
A trip to M&S for some new undies
In other news Brixton is about to get it's very own PoundLand. This will be a welcome addition to the spending opportunities available on Brixton Rd. I like PoundLand.
Wednesday 21 May 2008
Sweet Home
Feeling a bit homesick right now......
here's what I am pining for. Where I was born and raised Wellington, New Zealand
Cat Calling
I live in a street of shops.
Many of these shops have cats - these are 'working cats' whose sole purpose is to keep vermin away from the stock, they are not fluffy over indulged pets.
Over the years the cats have changed - the shop that used to have a tabby suddenly gets a black and white cat. What happened to tabby? Gone under the wheels of a truck? No good at mousing? The Black Cat was limping the last time I saw him - at christmas. The lives of these cats is not easy.
Add to the mix the feral cats that live around the back of the tube and you have colonies of poorly fed, unloved felines. Who have not been de-sexed.
At the moment the cat calling, the fighting and the screaming is reaching fever pitch and goes on all night. Soon there shall be kittens. I will phone Celia Hammond, who will catch the kittens, and some of the cats, and attempt to rehome them.
And it will start again
Many of these shops have cats - these are 'working cats' whose sole purpose is to keep vermin away from the stock, they are not fluffy over indulged pets.
Over the years the cats have changed - the shop that used to have a tabby suddenly gets a black and white cat. What happened to tabby? Gone under the wheels of a truck? No good at mousing? The Black Cat was limping the last time I saw him - at christmas. The lives of these cats is not easy.
Add to the mix the feral cats that live around the back of the tube and you have colonies of poorly fed, unloved felines. Who have not been de-sexed.
At the moment the cat calling, the fighting and the screaming is reaching fever pitch and goes on all night. Soon there shall be kittens. I will phone Celia Hammond, who will catch the kittens, and some of the cats, and attempt to rehome them.
And it will start again
Monday 19 May 2008
Mondays are the pits
I slept in this morning - in my defence my alarm clock broke over the weekend and the replacement I bought wouldn't wake anybody - let alone a person who could (and does) sleep through earthquakes.
My first appointment was at 9.30am. I woke at 8.45am. I was going to be late so rang to tell the woman so - I was honest about the reason (no point making up stuff about broken washing machines, tell the truth). We rescheduled for 11am. I ran a comb through my hair, drank coffee while cleaning the cat's litter tray, managed to spit toothpaste on my shirt (so had to change), grabbed my briefcase and headed toward the door. Tripped over the cat and banged my head on the coat hook (ouch), got out the door, down the stairs and hurried along the road - realised I had forgotten my oyster card, went back and got it.
Hurried along the road again. Waiting to cross the road, woman steps out and gets hit by a bus. I, being prime witness, am delayed further by police requiring a statement. Give up on meeting with woman. Phone her and apologise and promise I'll be in touch to reschedule.
From now on I shall boycott Mondays. Let it be known by all humanity that I will no longer acknowledge Mondays as existing.
That is all.
Except to say that the woman hit by the bus was perfectly fine. I would not be so callous as to moan about my misfortune if I had seen someone hurt........
My first appointment was at 9.30am. I woke at 8.45am. I was going to be late so rang to tell the woman so - I was honest about the reason (no point making up stuff about broken washing machines, tell the truth). We rescheduled for 11am. I ran a comb through my hair, drank coffee while cleaning the cat's litter tray, managed to spit toothpaste on my shirt (so had to change), grabbed my briefcase and headed toward the door. Tripped over the cat and banged my head on the coat hook (ouch), got out the door, down the stairs and hurried along the road - realised I had forgotten my oyster card, went back and got it.
Hurried along the road again. Waiting to cross the road, woman steps out and gets hit by a bus. I, being prime witness, am delayed further by police requiring a statement. Give up on meeting with woman. Phone her and apologise and promise I'll be in touch to reschedule.
From now on I shall boycott Mondays. Let it be known by all humanity that I will no longer acknowledge Mondays as existing.
That is all.
Except to say that the woman hit by the bus was perfectly fine. I would not be so callous as to moan about my misfortune if I had seen someone hurt........
Sunday 18 May 2008
going to the dogs
Tonight I went to The Walthamstow Stadium for the Saturday night greyhound races. 'The Dogs' is like a parallel universe - the atmosphere is a cross between an old fashioned working mens club and a bingo hall. Attracting a largely working class crowd, it is a fun night out for those of us who hail from that background. For others it might be more anthropological.
While the minimum bet is 10p, I usually push the boat out and 'invest' £1. I worked hard to lose on 13 straight races. I managed to pick the winner of the final race. The expedition therefore ended on a high note.
Spending the evening with a large group of queer folk, surrounded by tough as old boots (but soft inside) working class types, it felt as if I had become a venn diagram. My life intersected perfectly
High camp AND scampi and chips. Can not be beaten
While the minimum bet is 10p, I usually push the boat out and 'invest' £1. I worked hard to lose on 13 straight races. I managed to pick the winner of the final race. The expedition therefore ended on a high note.
Spending the evening with a large group of queer folk, surrounded by tough as old boots (but soft inside) working class types, it felt as if I had become a venn diagram. My life intersected perfectly
High camp AND scampi and chips. Can not be beaten
Sunday 11 May 2008
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
I watched this film the other night, I had forgotten how much I liked it.
You should see it (again, if necessary)
You should see it (again, if necessary)
Hot in the City
It's the beginning of May and it's 30degrees in the shade.
I'm a celt and we don't 'do' the heat very well.
Pity any passersby who happen to glance upward and catch a glimpse of me doing my hoovering in the nude, that's all I gotta say........
I'm a celt and we don't 'do' the heat very well.
Pity any passersby who happen to glance upward and catch a glimpse of me doing my hoovering in the nude, that's all I gotta say........
Wednesday 7 May 2008
I went to my first yoga class tonight
And it was hard.
I've used bits of me that haven't been stretched in years, not since a particularly exciting session with an over enthusiastic lover. Thank god we chose to explore our running dog in the beginners class.
The best bit was the relaxing at the end......and the pint at the pub afterwards
I've used bits of me that haven't been stretched in years, not since a particularly exciting session with an over enthusiastic lover. Thank god we chose to explore our running dog in the beginners class.
The best bit was the relaxing at the end......and the pint at the pub afterwards
Sunday 4 May 2008
is it wrong to play this over and over and over and over?
My neighbours are probably getting sick of hearing this thumping through the walls. It's a remix of 'I Just Wanna Dance' by Alison Jiear, from Jerry Springer the Opera.
Persepolis
After the disappointment of 'Happy Go Lucky', I was nervous of seeing Persepolis. It was another film I had circled in Time Out and I wasn't sure I could cope if it turned out to be dud.
It was fantastic
Based on an autobiographical graphic novel, it tells the story of Marjane Satrapi and her experiences growing up in Tehran.
We first meet Marjane as a precocious 9 year old. A little girl who wants to be a prophet when she grows up, wears sneakers and has a Bruce Lee poster on her bedroom wall. She comes from a loving family with a long history of political resistance. Before the revolution Iran (and Tehran in particular) was secular. The despised Shah is overthrown and, initially, the revolution is welcomed but the euphoria quickly turns into fear as the religious fundamentalists take control. The Iran/Iraq war begins, life becomes tenuous, people are arrested and the outspoken and questioning little girl is in danger. The decision is taken to send Marjane to Vienna where she struggles to fit in and, after a love affair gone wrong, finds herself on the margins of Viennese society - alone and lonely. She returns to Tehran and enrols in university, attends illegal underground parties and eventually marries (much to her mothers chagrin - 'I wanted you to be independent - not married at 21') The marriage is unhappy and Marjane divorces and. realising that she can't stay in Iran, she leaves for Paris.
The film was moving, beautifully drawn, evocative and the characterisation spot on.
My cornetto rating: 8/10 . Must be seen - not necessarily on a big screen (though I find it helps when reading subtitles)
It was fantastic
Based on an autobiographical graphic novel, it tells the story of Marjane Satrapi and her experiences growing up in Tehran.
We first meet Marjane as a precocious 9 year old. A little girl who wants to be a prophet when she grows up, wears sneakers and has a Bruce Lee poster on her bedroom wall. She comes from a loving family with a long history of political resistance. Before the revolution Iran (and Tehran in particular) was secular. The despised Shah is overthrown and, initially, the revolution is welcomed but the euphoria quickly turns into fear as the religious fundamentalists take control. The Iran/Iraq war begins, life becomes tenuous, people are arrested and the outspoken and questioning little girl is in danger. The decision is taken to send Marjane to Vienna where she struggles to fit in and, after a love affair gone wrong, finds herself on the margins of Viennese society - alone and lonely. She returns to Tehran and enrols in university, attends illegal underground parties and eventually marries (much to her mothers chagrin - 'I wanted you to be independent - not married at 21') The marriage is unhappy and Marjane divorces and. realising that she can't stay in Iran, she leaves for Paris.
The film was moving, beautifully drawn, evocative and the characterisation spot on.
My cornetto rating: 8/10 . Must be seen - not necessarily on a big screen (though I find it helps when reading subtitles)
Thursday 1 May 2008
would a lesbian by any other name smell as sweet?
The good folks of Lesbos are going to court in Athens to try and stop us pesky lady lovin' ladies from calling ourselves lesbians.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7376919.stm
While I myself am not a Lesbian from Lesbos, I am a lesbian who has, at least, been to Lesbos, which gives me a vested interest in this issue. What if the courts decide that the word Lesbian is copyrighted and can no longer be used to label anyone 'cept those born on Lesbos??????
What will become of the Lesbian Pot Luck? What will happen to lesbian hair? What of lesbian drama????
OMG
We had best start planning now, just in case........what shall we be called sapphic sisters? What shall we label ourselves? I like vaginist...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7376919.stm
While I myself am not a Lesbian from Lesbos, I am a lesbian who has, at least, been to Lesbos, which gives me a vested interest in this issue. What if the courts decide that the word Lesbian is copyrighted and can no longer be used to label anyone 'cept those born on Lesbos??????
What will become of the Lesbian Pot Luck? What will happen to lesbian hair? What of lesbian drama????
OMG
We had best start planning now, just in case........what shall we be called sapphic sisters? What shall we label ourselves? I like vaginist...
Wednesday 30 April 2008
Happy Go Lucky
I'm not sure what I was expecting when I went to see Mike Leigh's new film 'Happy Go Lucky', generally I love a Leigh film but this felt different. It's taken me a while to figure out why I felt so dissatisfied with Happy, but here's the thing - I felt no sympathy for the main character of Poppy and I couldn't quite see the point of the film....was it about being cheerful in the face of being 30 and single? Was it about secrets and lies being hidden beneath a failure to grow up? Was it about a naivity that only sees the good in everything? Was it about insecurity? Was is about paranoia?
Or was it simply about a really annoying woman?
I did appreciate the lesbionic undertones in the relationship between the two female leads (and, in this case, I don't think I am projecting) and I will always support any movie that is female led - they are few and far between.
Having said that - I do have to note that the most 'interesting' character was the male driving instructor. This character had depth, humanity and, while repugnant, did elicit some sympathy from me. Unlike Poppy who seemed one dimensional.
Sadly, I also thought the acting was a bit wooden - which was a shame. Perhaps in the hands of a more experienced actor the character of Poppy may have been redeemed.
And what woman would walk through wasteground, in the middle of London, in the middle of the night AND then stop and chat with the first strange man she met? No woman I know
So my cornetto rating is ............. 5/10. Might be OK on dvd on a rainy Sunday afternoon
Or was it simply about a really annoying woman?
I did appreciate the lesbionic undertones in the relationship between the two female leads (and, in this case, I don't think I am projecting) and I will always support any movie that is female led - they are few and far between.
Having said that - I do have to note that the most 'interesting' character was the male driving instructor. This character had depth, humanity and, while repugnant, did elicit some sympathy from me. Unlike Poppy who seemed one dimensional.
Sadly, I also thought the acting was a bit wooden - which was a shame. Perhaps in the hands of a more experienced actor the character of Poppy may have been redeemed.
And what woman would walk through wasteground, in the middle of London, in the middle of the night AND then stop and chat with the first strange man she met? No woman I know
So my cornetto rating is ............. 5/10. Might be OK on dvd on a rainy Sunday afternoon
Tuesday 29 April 2008
Ain't Life a Riot
I live in Brixton.....it's a great place to live, full of colour and character. Some of the characters are a bit too colourful at times, but that's part of Brixton's charm. Once you get used to the 'groove' of the place, the oddballs are as normal as me and you.
One of Brixton's more energetic oddballs got run over and killed last week by a prison van. There has been talk on the street (and in the shops, at the bus stops and in the pub) that it might not have been a complete accident, but I don't know 'cos I wasn't there......
We all felt very fond of Gully and her marlboro jacket. She always said hello and once offered me a swig of her drink.....the sight of her dancing about in the middle of the road seemed normal to us......
Early this evening there's going to be a gathering in memory of Gully, it's going to be held in the little square where the drinkers gather. I'll be there, if only to say hooroo to Gully and to acknowledge that, in this funny little corner of London, it really does take all sorts to make a community and that the Gully's of this world are important.
One of Brixton's more energetic oddballs got run over and killed last week by a prison van. There has been talk on the street (and in the shops, at the bus stops and in the pub) that it might not have been a complete accident, but I don't know 'cos I wasn't there......
We all felt very fond of Gully and her marlboro jacket. She always said hello and once offered me a swig of her drink.....the sight of her dancing about in the middle of the road seemed normal to us......
Early this evening there's going to be a gathering in memory of Gully, it's going to be held in the little square where the drinkers gather. I'll be there, if only to say hooroo to Gully and to acknowledge that, in this funny little corner of London, it really does take all sorts to make a community and that the Gully's of this world are important.
Sunday 27 April 2008
get ya willie out........
of my face, you horrible little man.
I open my front door to find a man pissing aginst it. It's not the sort of thing a respectable lesbian wants to see on a Sunday morning
There is a public toilet less than 100metres down the road. Can I just say to all the gentleman out there....just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
That's all I have to say
I open my front door to find a man pissing aginst it. It's not the sort of thing a respectable lesbian wants to see on a Sunday morning
There is a public toilet less than 100metres down the road. Can I just say to all the gentleman out there....just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
That's all I have to say
Saturday 19 April 2008
Go Stan Go
I have invented a new game, it involves sticking a sock on the cats head and then shouting 'Go Stan, Go'. He loves it. Really. He does........
Thursday 17 April 2008
The Joy's of Public Transport
Are Many
Like the shoeless woman who got on the bus and announced, loudly, to the driver:
'I've lost my bus pass, but I'm a mental health patient under section3 of the Mental Health Act'
To which the bus driver rolled his eyes and waved her on.
The woman sat herself down and, after arranging her numerous plastic bags, began chatting to me (of course).
She had a voucher for Subway, but never having been there before she was unsure if Subway would meet her standards. I explained as best I could that Subway involved lots of choices and could be a bit stressful.....
The lady then turned her attention to another passenger and told him that her feet were cold and she wished she had some socks. The man asked her where her shoes were
'I pissed myself earlier and my shoes haven't dried yet'
To that woman I say: Bless You
Like the shoeless woman who got on the bus and announced, loudly, to the driver:
'I've lost my bus pass, but I'm a mental health patient under section3 of the Mental Health Act'
To which the bus driver rolled his eyes and waved her on.
The woman sat herself down and, after arranging her numerous plastic bags, began chatting to me (of course).
She had a voucher for Subway, but never having been there before she was unsure if Subway would meet her standards. I explained as best I could that Subway involved lots of choices and could be a bit stressful.....
The lady then turned her attention to another passenger and told him that her feet were cold and she wished she had some socks. The man asked her where her shoes were
'I pissed myself earlier and my shoes haven't dried yet'
To that woman I say: Bless You
Wednesday 16 April 2008
Mahinarangi Tocker
I was terribly shocked to hear about the death of Mahina Tocker.
Aotearoa has lost one of it's unique voices. I was priviledged to have met Mahina a few times - she was humble, funny, passionate, energetic, supremely talented, a bit wicked and filled with a wonderful curiousity. As a musician she had no peer, she simply soared above everyone else - both as a songwriter and as a performer. A fortnight ago I heard her part of a collaborative project to put the poetry of the late Hone Tuwhare to music - it was wonderful.
While Aotearoa has lost someone truly special, her whanau have lost so much more.
Goodbye Mahina
Aotearoa has lost one of it's unique voices. I was priviledged to have met Mahina a few times - she was humble, funny, passionate, energetic, supremely talented, a bit wicked and filled with a wonderful curiousity. As a musician she had no peer, she simply soared above everyone else - both as a songwriter and as a performer. A fortnight ago I heard her part of a collaborative project to put the poetry of the late Hone Tuwhare to music - it was wonderful.
While Aotearoa has lost someone truly special, her whanau have lost so much more.
Goodbye Mahina
All That Jazz
Today I met my friend David in London's Soho (I was skivving off work). We had a gay old time trying on glasses, playing shoot 'em up games in a video arcade and checking out joke shops. I got myself some fabulous temporary tattoos and a wonderful dictionary of lesbian speak covering the major european languages . I can now fail to pick up girls in all the major capitals of the world. After an hour or so of silly shopping we stopped for coffee and cake at Maison Bateaux. MB is a famous 'pattessiere'. What it is famous for is crap coffee, stale cake and the grumpiest proprietor in all of London. But it has tables on the pavement and is opposite the entrance to that top of the range, members only, club - Soho House. So it's good for people spotting. This led us to come up with an idea for a salacious gossip site where people can post their celebrity spotting and comments about sobriety, fashion sense and so on. We then plan to sell said website for millions.......
Of course this money making idea is brought to you by the same people who came up with the 'Sandra and David Breakfast Show', presented by us, in our kitchen, wearing our pyjama's, with a daily horoscope provided by Perky the goldfish.
After saying goodbye to David, I met Cini at the Soho PizzaExpress Jazz Club where I saw the fabulous Lea Delaria at her regular Wall to Wall night. It was too fab for words. I first came across Lea as a stand up comic - and we are talking maybe twenty years ago here (old? moi? don't be silly). Lea, like Madonna, has reinvented herself and now she combines a wonderful jazz voice, with a natural ability to make the audience laugh. Wall to Wall' is Lea's regular (every third Tuesday) spot at the club, the concept is to cover one composer every month and to showcase a different guest vocalist. You should check it out.
At the end of the evening (and after a few beers) I was reminded that Lea once hit on me. We were both young and stupid.
Of course this money making idea is brought to you by the same people who came up with the 'Sandra and David Breakfast Show', presented by us, in our kitchen, wearing our pyjama's, with a daily horoscope provided by Perky the goldfish.
After saying goodbye to David, I met Cini at the Soho PizzaExpress Jazz Club where I saw the fabulous Lea Delaria at her regular Wall to Wall night. It was too fab for words. I first came across Lea as a stand up comic - and we are talking maybe twenty years ago here (old? moi? don't be silly). Lea, like Madonna, has reinvented herself and now she combines a wonderful jazz voice, with a natural ability to make the audience laugh. Wall to Wall' is Lea's regular (every third Tuesday) spot at the club, the concept is to cover one composer every month and to showcase a different guest vocalist. You should check it out.
At the end of the evening (and after a few beers) I was reminded that Lea once hit on me. We were both young and stupid.
Monday 14 April 2008
Mind your Onions
I'm the sort of person that, when on public transportation, stands up for little old ladies (and little old men - I'm an equal opportunities type of chick).
So when I see a woman struggling along with her shopping and notice that one of her bags is leaking onions, my response is to pick up the errant vegetables and hurry after her
'hey lady your onions.....' says I, holding out the five I had picked up 'your bag is leaking'
As thanks I get an up/down stare and then:
'I don't want those - they've been on the ground. Stupid Bitch'
To which I would say
FUCK YOU AND YOUR ONIONS
So when I see a woman struggling along with her shopping and notice that one of her bags is leaking onions, my response is to pick up the errant vegetables and hurry after her
'hey lady your onions.....' says I, holding out the five I had picked up 'your bag is leaking'
As thanks I get an up/down stare and then:
'I don't want those - they've been on the ground. Stupid Bitch'
To which I would say
FUCK YOU AND YOUR ONIONS
Sunday 13 April 2008
Man Runs Marathon
This morning a man started running the London Marathon.
He is 101 years old
I am so ashamed
He is 101 years old
I am so ashamed
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
